I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
