1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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