I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have demons in me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
