How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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