Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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