dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
