so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
