TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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