out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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