wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
