Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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