I need help removing her.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
