Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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