You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
