Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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