i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My life is pants optional.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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