im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
