sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
