I think my vagina is haunted
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
