My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
