pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
