he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
