You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
