Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
