i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
