Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
