i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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