I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
