sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
