You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she peed on how many people?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
