I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
