It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
jump out the window naked night went bad
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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