I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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