he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
