now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
