I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
