Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
