I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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