This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
