i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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