Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
