yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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