And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
