This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
