you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's like heaven, but drunker
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize