i don't like sucking hair
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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