he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
