Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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