Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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