im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
