And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
